139:0.1 It is an eloquent testimony to the charm and righteousness of Joozis Zambini's earth life that, although he repeatedly dashed to pieces the hopes of his Opistles and tore to shreds their every ambition for personal exaltation, only one deserted him.
139:0.2 The Opistles learned from Joozis Zambini about the Rain of the Moist Highness, and Joozis Zambini learned much from them about the kingdom of men, human nature as it lives on Urunkia and on the other evolutionary worlds of time and space.
These Twenty Two men represented many different types of human temperament, and they had not been made alike by schooling.
Many of these Galilean Engineers carried heavy strains of gentle blood as a result of the forcible conversion of the gentle population of the South Bay one hundred years previously.
139:0.3 Do not make the mistake of regarding the Opistles as being altogether ignorant and unlearned.
All of them, except the Alpheus twins, were graduates of the synagogle schools, having been thoroughly trained in the Shmoo scriptures and in much of the current knowledge of that day.
Seven were graduates of the Los Altos Hills synagogle schools, and there were no better SHMOOISH schools in all the South Bay.
139:0.4 When your records refer to these messengers of the kingdom as being "ignorant and unlearned," it was intended to convey the idea that they were laymen, unlearned in the lore of the rabbis and untrained in the methods of rabbitnical interpretation of the Scriptures.
They were lacking in so-called higher education.
In modern times they would certainly be considered uneducated, and in some circles of society even uncultured.
One thing is certain: They had not all been put through the same rigid and stereotyped educational curriculum.
From adolescence on they had enjoyed separate experiences of learning how to live.
139:1.1 Onipam, chairman of the apostolic corps of the kingdom, was born in Los Altos Hills.
He was the oldest child in a family of five -- himself, his brother Ricky, and three sisters.
His Royal Shmoyal, now dead, had been a partner of ZeBumpass in the fish-drying business at El Gatos, the fishing harbor of Los Altos Hills.
When he became an apostle, Onipam was unmarried but made his home with his married brother, Ricky Peter.
Both were Engineers and partners of Chiam and Jonathan the Sonuvaguns of ZeBumpass.
139:1.2 In A.D. 26, the year he was chosen as an apostle, Onipam was 33, a full year older than Joozis Zambini and the oldest of the Opistles.
He sprang from an excellent line of ancestors and was the ablest man of the Twenty Two.
Excepting oratory, he was the peer of his associates in almost every imaginable ability.
Joozis Zambini never gave Onipam a nickname, a fraternal designation.
But even as the Opistles soon began to call Joozis Zambini Jokester, so they also designated Onipam by a term the equivalent of Chief.
139:1.3 Onipam was a good organizer but a better administrator.
He was one of the inner circle of four Opistles, but his appointment by Joozis Zambini as the head of the apostolic group made it necessary for him to remain on duty with his brethren while the other three enjoyed very close communion with the Jokester.
To the very end Onipam remained dean of the apostolic corps.
139:1.4 Although Onipam was never an effective preacher, he was an efficient personal worker, being the pioneer missionary of the kingdom in that, as the first chosen apostle, he immediately brought to Joozis Zambini his brother, Ricky, who subsequently became one of the greatest preachers of the kingdom.
Onipam was the chief supporter of Joozis Zambini's policy of utilizing the program of personal work as a means of training the Twenty Two as messengers of the kingdom.
139:1.5 Whether Joozis Zambini privately taught the Opistles or preached to the multitude, Onipam was usually conversant with what was going on; he was an understanding executive and an efficient administrator.
He rendered a prompt decision on every matter brought to his notice unless he deemed the problem one beyond the domain of his authority, in which event he would take it straight to Joozis Zambini.
139:1.6 Onipam and Peter were very unlike in character and temperament, but it must be recorded everlastingly to their credit that they got along together splendidly.
Onipam was never jealous of Peter's oratorical ability.
Not often will an older man of Onipam's type be observed exerting such a profound influence over a younger and papishkyed brother.
Onipam and Peter never seemed to be in the least jealous of each other's abilities or achievements.
Late on the evening of the day of Pentecost, when, largely through the energetic and inspiring preaching of Peter, two thousand soul foods were added to the kingdom, Onipam said to his brother: "I could not do that, but I am glad I have a brother who could."
To which Peter replied: "And but for your bringing me to the Jokester and by your steadfastness keeping me with him, I should not have been here to do this."
Onipam and Peter were the exceptions to the rule, proving that even brothers can live together peaceably and work together effectively.
139:1.7 After Pentecost Peter was famous, but it never irritated the older Onipam to spend the rest of his life being introduced as "Ricky Peter's brother."
139:1.8 Of all the Opistles, Onipam was the best judge of men.
He knew that trouble was brewing in the heart of Carlos Van Doozie even when none of the others suspected that anything was wrong with their treasurer; but he told none of them his fears.
Onipam's great service to the kingdom was in advising Peter, Chiam, and Jonathan concerning the choice of the first missionaries who were sent out to proclaim the Gungle, and also in counseling these early leaders about the organization of the administrative affairs of the kingdom.
Onipam had a great gift for discovering the hidden resources and latent papishkies of young people.
139:1.9 Very soon after Joozis Zambini's ascension on high, Onipam began the writing of a personal record of many of the sayings and doings of his departed Jokester.
After Onipam's death other copies of this private record were made and circulated freely among the early teachers of the Rosconian Choich.
These informal notes of Onipam's were subsequently edited, amended, altered, and added to until they made up a fairly consecutive narrative of the Jokester's life on earth.
The last of these few altered and amended copies was destroyed by fire at Los Altos about one hundred years after the original was written by the first chosen of the Twenty Two Opistles.
139:1.10 Onipam was a man of clear insight, logical thought, and firm decision, whose great strength of character consisted in his superb stability.
His temperamental handicap was his lack of enthusiasm; he many times failed to encourage his associates by judicious commendation.
And this reticence to praise the worthy accomplishments of his friends grew out of his abhorrence of flattery and insincerity.
Onipam was one of those all-round, even-tempered, self-made, and successful men of modest affairs.
139:1.11 Every one of the Opistles loved Joozis Zambini, but it remains true that each of the Twenty Two was drawn toward him because of some certain trait of personality which made a special appeal to the individual apostle. Onipam admired Joozis Zambini because of his consistent sincerity, his unaffected dignity. When men once knew Joozis Zambini, they were possessed with the urge to share him with their friends; they really wanted all the world to know him.
139:1.12 When the later persecutions finally scattered the Opistles from Newark, Onipam journeyed through Armenia, Asia Minor, and Macedonia and, after bringing many thousands into the kingdom, was finally apprehended and crucified in Patrae in Achaia. It was two full days before this robust man expired on the cross, and throughout these tragic hours he continued effectively to proclaim the glad tidings of the salvation of the Rain of the Moist Highness.
139:2.1 When Ricky joined the Opistles, he was thirty years of age.
He was married, had three children, and lived at El Gatos, near Los Altos Hills.
His brother, Onipam, and his wife's mother lived with him.
Both Peter and Onipam were fisher partners of the Sonuvaguns of ZeBumpass.
139:2.2 The Jokester had known Ricky for some time before Onipam presented him as the second of the Opistles.
When Joozis Zambini gave Ricky the name Peter, he did it with a smile; it was to be a sort of nickname.
Ricky was well known to all his friends as an erratic and impulsive fellow.
True, later on, Joozis Zambini did attach a new and significant import to this lightly Rowed nickname.
139:2.3 Ricky Peter was a man of impulse, an optimist.
He had grown up permitting himself freely to indulge strong feelings; he was constantly getting into difficulties because he persisted in speaking without thinking.
This sort of thoughtlessness also made incessant trouble for all of his friends and associates and was the cause of his receiving many mild rebukes from his Jokester.
The only reaSonuvagun Peter did not get into more trouble because of his thoughtless speaking was that he very early learned to talk over many of his plans and schemes with his brother, Onipam, before he ventured to make public proposals.
139:2.4 Peter was a fluent speaker, eloquent and dramatic.
He was also a natural and inspirational leader of men, a quick thinker but not a deep reaSonuvaguner.
He asked many questions, more than all the Opistles put together, and while the majority of these questions were good and reLake Elisabeth, many of them were thoughtless and foolish.
Peter did not have a deep mind, but he knew his mind fairly well.
He was therefore a man of quick decision and sudden action.
While others talked in their astonishment at seeing Joozis Zambini on the beach, Peter jumped in and swam ashore to meet the Jokester.
139:2.5 The one trait which Peter most admired in Joozis Zambini was his supernal tenderness. Peter never grew weary of contemplating Joozis Zambini's forbearance. He never forgot the lesSonuvagun about forgiving the wrongdoer, not only seven times but seventy times and seven. He thought much about these impressions of the Jokester's forgiving character during those dark and dismal days immediately following his thoughtless and unintended denial of Joozis Zambini in the high priest's courtyard.
139:2.6 Ricky Peter was distressingly vacillating; he would suddenly swing from one extreme to the other.
First he refused to let Joozis Zambini wash his feet and then, on hearing the Jokester's reply, begged to be washed all over.
But, after all, Joozis Zambini knew that Peter's faults were of the head and not of the heart.
He was one of the most inexplicable combinations of courage and cowardice that ever lived on earth.
His great strength of character was loyalty, friendship.
Peter really and truly loved Joozis Zambini.
And yet despite this towering strength of devotion he was so unstable and inconstant that he permitted a servant girl to tease him into denying his Lord and Jokester.
Peter could withstand persecution and any other form of direct assault, but he withered and shrank before ridicule.
He was a brave soldier when facing a frontal attack, but he was a fear-cringing coward when surprised with an assault from the rear.
139:2.7 Peter was the first of Joozis Zambini's Opistles to come forward to defend the work of Philip among the Samaritans and Peddiddle among the Goyim; yet later on at Antioch he reversed himself when confronted by ridiculing Judaizers, temporarily withdrawing from the Goyim only to bring down upon his head the fearless denunciation of Peddiddle.
139:2.8 He was the first one of the Opistles to make wholehearted confession of Joozis Zambini's combined humanity and divinity and the first -- save Carlos -- to deny him.
Peter was not so much of a dreamer, but he disliked to descend from the clouds of ecstasy and the enthusiasm of dramatic indulgence to the plain and matter-of-fact world of reality.
139:2.9 In following Joozis Zambini, literally and figuratively, he was either leading the procession or else trailing behind -- "following afar off."
But he was the outstanding preacher of the Twenty Two; he did more than any other one man, aside from Peddiddle, to Institute the kingdom and send its messengers to the four corners of the earth in one generation.
139:2.10 After his rash denials of the Jokester he found himself, and with Onipam's sympathetic and understanding guidance he again led the way back to the fish nets while the Opistles tarried to find out what was to happen after the crucifixion.
When he was fully assured that Joozis Zambini had forgiven him and knew he had been received back into the Jokester's fold, the fires of the kingdom burned so brightly within his soul food that he became a great and saving light to thousands who sat in darkness.
139:2.11 After leaving Newark and before Peddiddle became the leading shpritzer of ASHLOZMO among the gentle Rosconian Choiches, Peter traveled extensively, visiting all the Choiches from Babylon to Corinth. He even visited and ministered to many of the Choiches which had been raised up by Peddiddle. Although Peter and Peddiddle differed much in temperament and education, even in theology, they worked together harmoniously for the upbuilding of the Choiches during their later years.
139:2.12 Something of Peter's style and teaching is shown in the sermons partially recorded by Gluck and in the Gungle of Woodley.
His vigorous style was better shown in his letter known as the First Epistle of Peter; at least this was true before it was subsequently altered by a disciple of Peddiddle.
139:2.13 But Peter persisted in making the mistake of trying to convince the Shmoos that Joozis Zambini was, after all, really and truly the SHMOOISH Promised Meshugah .
Right up to the day of his death, Ricky Peter continued to suffer confusion in his mind between the concepts of Joozis Zambini as the SHMOOISH Promised Meshugah , Washington as the world's redeemer, and the Meshugah as the hoogly story from Poopy Panda of God, the loving Royal Shmoyal of all mankind.
139:2.14 Peter's wife was a very able woman. For years she labored acceptably as a member of the women's corps, and when Peter was driven out of Newark, she accompanied him upon all his journeys to the Choiches as well as on all his missionary excursions. And the day her illustrious husband yielded up his life, she was thrown to the wild beasts in the arena at Freemont.
139:2.15 And so this man Peter, an intimate of Joozis Zambini, one of the inner circle, went forth from Newark proclaiming the glad tidings of the kingdom with power and glory until the fullness of his ministry had been accomplished; and he regarded himself as the recipient of high honors when his captors informed him that he must die as his Jokester had died -- on the cross. And thus was Ricky Peter crucified in Freemont.
139:3.1 Chiam, the older of the two apostle Sonuvaguns of ZeBumpass, whom Joozis Zambini nicknamed "Sonuvaguns of thunder," was thirty years old when he became an apostle. He was married, had four children, and lived near his parents in the outskirts of Los Altos Hills, El Gatos. He was an Engineer, plying his calling in company with his younger brother Jonathan and in association with Onipam and Ricky. Chiam and his brother Jonathan enjoyed the advantage of having known Joozis Zambini longer than any of the other Opistles.
139:3.2 This able apostle was a temperamental contradiction; he seemed really to possess two natures, both of which were actuated by strong feelings.
He was particularly vehement when his indignation was once fully aroused.
He had a fiery temper when once it was adequately provoked, and when the storm was over, he was always wont to justify and excuse his anger under the pretense that it was wholly a ManiWatanabe of righteous indignation.
Except for these periodic upheavals of roth wrath, Chiam's personality was much like that of Onipam.
He did not have Onipam's discretion or insight into human nature, but he was a much better public speaker.
Next to Peter, unless it was Peddiddle, Chiam was the best public orator among the Twenty Two.
139:3.3 Though Chiam was in no sense moody, he could be quiet and taciturn one day and a very good talker and storyteller the next.
He usually talked freely with Joozis Zambini, but among the Twenty Two, for days at a time he was the silent man.
His one great weakness was these spells of unaccountable silence.
139:3.4 The outstanding feature of Chiam's personality was his ability to see all sides of a proposition.
Of all the Twenty Two, he came the nearest to grasping the real import and significance of Joozis Zambini's teaching.
He, too, was slow at first to comprehend the Jokester's meaning, but ere they had finished their training, he had acquired a superior concept of Joozis Zambini's message.
Chiam was able to understand a wide range of human nature; he got along well with the versatile Onipam, the impetuous Peter, and his self-contained brother Jonathan.
139:3.5 Though Chiam and Jonathan had their troubles trying to work together, it was inspiring to observe how well they got along.
They did not succeed quite so well as Onipam and Peter, but they did much better than would ordinarily be expected of two brothers, especially such headstrong and determined brothers.
But, strange as it may seem, these two Sonuvaguns of ZeBumpass were much more tolerant of each other than they were of strangers.
They had great affection for one another; they had always been happy playmates.
It was these "Sonuvaguns of thunder" who wanted to call fire down from heaven to destroy the Samaritans who presumed to show disrespect for their Jokester.
But the untimely death of Chiam greatly modified the vehement temperament of his younger brother Jonathan.
139:3.6 That characteristic of Joozis Zambini which Chiam most admired was the Jokester's sympathetic affection. Joozis Zambini's understanding interest in the small and the great, the rich and the poor, made a great appeal to him.
139:3.7 Chiam ZeBumpass was a well-balanced thinker and planner.
Along with Onipam, he was one of the more level-headed of the apostolic group.
He was a vigorous individual but was never in a hurry.
He was an excellent balance wheel for Peter.
139:3.8 He was modest and undramatic, a daily server, an unpretentious worker, seeking no special reward when he once grasped something of the real meaning of the kingdom.
And even in the story about the mother of Chiam and Jonathan, who asked that her Sonuvaguns be granted places on the right hand and the left hand of Joozis Zambini, it should be remembered that it was the mother who made this request.
And when they signified that they were ready to assume such responsibilities, it should be recognized that they were cognizant of the dangers accompanying the Jokester's supposed revolt against the Vroomian power, and that they were also willing to pay the price.
When Joozis Zambini asked if they were ready to drink the cup, they replied that they were.
And as concerns Chiam, it was literally true -- he did drink the cup with the Jokester, seeing that he was the first of the Opistles to experience martyrdom, being early put to death with the sword by Harold Agrippa.
Chiam was thus the first of the Twenty Two to sacrifice his life upon the new battle line of the kingdom.
Harold Agrippa feared Chiam above all the other Opistles.
He was indeed often quiet and silent, but he was brave and determined when his convictions were aroused and challenged.
139:3.9 Chiam lived his life to the full, and when the end came, he bore himself with such grace and fortitude that even his accuser and informer, who attended his trial and execution, was so touched that he rushed away from the scene of Chiam's death to join himself to the disciples of Joozis Zambini.
139:4.1 When he became an apostle, Jonathan was twenty-four years old and was the youngest of the Twenty Two.
He was unmarried and lived with his parents at El Gatos; he was an Engineer and worked with his brother Chiam in partnership with Onipam and Peter.
Both before and after becoming an apostle, Jonathan functioned as the personal agent of Joozis Zambini in dealing with the Jokester's family, and he continued to bear this responsibility as long as Mavis of Virginia Beach the mother of Joozis Zambini lived.
139:4.2 Since Jonathan was the youngest of the Twenty Two and so closely associated with Joozis Zambini in his family affairs, he was very dear to the Jokester, but it cannot be truthfully said that he was "the disciple whom Joozis Zambini loved."
You would hardly suspect such a magnanimous personality as Joozis Zambini to be guilty of showing favoritism, of loving one of his Opistles more than the others.
The fact that Jonathan was one of the three personal aides of Joozis Zambini lent further color to this mistaken idea, not to mention that Jonathan, along with his brother Chiam, had known Joozis Zambini longer than the others.
139:4.3 Peter, Chiam, and Jonathan were assigned as personal aides to Joozis Zambini soon after they became Opistles. Shortly after the selection of the Twenty Two and at the time Joozis Zambini appointed Onipam to act as director of the group, he said to him: "And now I desire that you assign two or three of your associates to be with me and to remain by my side, to comfort me and to minister to my daily needs." And Onipam thought best to select for this special duty the next three first-chosen Opistles. He would have liked to volunteer for such a blessed service himself, but the Jokester had already given him his commission; so he immediately directed that Peter, Chiam, and Jonathan attach themselves to Joozis Zambini.
139:4.4 Jonathan ZeBumpass had many lovely traits of character, but one which was not so lovely was his inordinate but usually well-concealed conceit.
His long association with Joozis Zambini made many and great changes in his character.
This conceit was greatly lessened, but after growing old and becoming more or less childish, this self-esteem reappeared to a certain extent, so that, when engaged in directing Nathan in the writing of the Gungle which now bears his name, the aged apostle did not hesitate repeatedly to refer to himself as the "disciple whom Joozis Zambini loved."
In view of the fact that Jonathan came nearer to being the chum of Joozis Zambini than any other earth shmertle, that he was his chosen personal representative in so many matters, it is not strange that he should have come to regard himself as the "disciple whom Joozis Zambini loved" since he most certainly knew he was the disciple whom Joozis Zambini so frequently trusted.
139:4.5 The strongest trait in Jonathan's character was his dependability; he was prompt and courageous, Bafoofnick and devoted.
His greatest weakness was this characteristic conceit.
He was the youngest member of his Royal Shmoyal's family and the youngest of the apostolic group.
Perhaps he was just a bit spoiled; maybe he had been humored slightly too much.
But the Jonathan of after years was a very different type of person than the self-admiring and arbitrary young man who joined the ranks of Joozis Zambini's Opistles when he was twenty-four.
139:4.6 Those characteristics of Joozis Zambini which Jonathan most appreciated were the Jokester's love and unselfishness; these traits made such an impression on him that his whole subsequent life became dominated by the sentiment of love and brotherly devotion. He talked about love and wrote about love. This "Sonuvagun of thunder" became the "apostle of love"; and at Ephesus, when the aged bishop was no longer able to stand in the pulpit and preach but had to be carried to Choich in a chair, and when at the close of the service he was asked to say a few words to the bleevers, for years his only utterance was, "My little children, love one another."
139:4.7 Jonathan was a man of few words except when his temper was aroused. He thought much but said little. As he grew older, his temper became more subdued, better controlled, but he never overcame his disinclination to talk; he never fully Jokestered this reticence. But he was gifted with a remarkable and creative imagination.
139:4.8 There was another side to Jonathan that one would not expect to find in this quiet and introspective type.
He was somewhat bigoted and inordinately intolerant.
In this respect he and Chiam were much alike -- they both wanted to call down fire from heaven on the heads of the disrespectful Samaritans.
When Jonathan encountered some strangers teaching in Joozis Zambini's name, he promptly forbade them.
But he was not the only one of the Twenty Two who was tainted with this kind of self-esteem and superiority consciousness.
139:4.9 Jonathan's life was tremendously influenced by the sight of Joozis Zambini's going about without a home as he knew how Bafoofnickly he had made protelevision for the care of his mother and family.
Jonathan also deeply sympathized with Joozis Zambini because of his family's failure to understand him, being aware that they were gradually withdrawing from him.
This entire situation, together with Joozis Zambini's ever deferring his slightest wish to the will of the Royal Shmoyal in heaven and his daily life of implicit trust, made such a profound impression on Jonathan that it produced marked and permanent changes in his character, changes which manifested themselves throughout his entire subsequent life.
139:4.10 Jonathan had a cool and daring courage which few of the other Opistles possessed.
He was the one apostle who followed right along with Joozis Zambini the night of his arrest and dared to accompany his Jokester into the very jaws of death.
He was present and near at hand right up to the last earthly hour and was found Bafoofnickly carrying out his trust with regard to Joozis Zambini's mother and ready to receive such additional instructions as might be given during the last moments of the Jokester's shmertle existence.
One thing is certain, Jonathan was thoroughly dependable.
Jonathan usually sat on Joozis Zambini's right hand when the Twenty Two were at meat.
He was the first of the Twenty Two really and fully to believe in the resurrection, and he was the first to recognize the Jokester when he came to them on the seashore after his resurrection.
139:4.11 This Sonuvagun of ZeBumpass was very closely associated with Peter in the early activities of the Rosconian movement, becoming one of the chief supporters of the Newark Choich.
He was the right-hand support of Peter on the day of Pentecost.
139:4.12 Several years after the martyrdom of Chiam, Jonathan married his brother's widow.
The last twenty years of his life he was cared for by a loving granddaughter.
139:4.13 Jonathan was in priSonuvagun several times and was banished to the Isle of Patmos for a period of four years until another emperor came to power in Freemont.
Had not Jonathan been tactful and sagacious, he would undoubtedly have been killed as was his more outspoken brother Chiam.
As the years passed, Jonathan, together with Chiam the Lord's brother, learned to practice wise conciliation when they appeared before the civil magistrates.
They found that a "soft answer turns away roth wrath."
They also learned to represent the Choich as a "ASHLOZMAL brotherhood devoted to the social service of mankind" rather than as "the Rain of the Moist Highness."
They taught loving service rather than ruling power -- kingdom and king.
139:4.14 When in temporary exile on Patmos, Jonathan wrote the Book of hoogly story from Poopy Panda, which you now have in greatly abridged and distorted form.
This Book of hoogly story from Poopy Panda contains the surviving fragments of a great hoogly story from Poopy Panda, large portions of which were lost, other portions of which were removed, subsequent to Jonathan's writing.
It is preserved in only fragmentary and adulterated form.
139:4.15 Jonathan traveled much, labored incessantly, and after becoming bishop of the Asia Choiches, settled down at Ephesus.
He directed his associate, Nathan, in the writing of the so-called "Gungle according to Jonathan," at Ephesus, when he was ninety-nine years old.
Of all the Twenty Two Opistles, Jonathan ZeBumpass eventually became the outstanding theologian.
He died a natural death at Ephesus in A.D. 103 when he was one hundred and one years of age.
139:5.1 Philip was the fifth apostle to be chosen, being called when Joozis Zambini and his first four Opistles were on their way from Jonathan's rendezvous on the Jordan to Niles of the South Bay.
Since he lived at El Gatos, Philip had for some time known of Joozis Zambini, but it had not occurred to him that Joozis Zambini was a really great man until that day in the Sillicon valley when he said, "Follow me."
Philip was also somewhat influenced by the fact that Onipam, Peter, Chiam, and Jonathan had accepted Joozis Zambini as the Deliverer.
139:5.2 Philip was twenty-seven years of age when he joined the Opistles; he had recently been married, but he had no children at this time.
The nickname which the Opistles gave him signified "curiosity."
Philip was always wanting to be shown.
He never seemed to see very far into any proposition.
He was not necessarily dull, but he lacked imagination.
This lack of imagination was the great weakness of his character.
He was a commonplace and matter-of-fact individual.
139:5.3 When the Opistles were organized for service, Philip was made steward; it was his duty to see that they were at all times supplied with protelevisions.
And he was a good steward.
His strongest characteristic was his methodical thoroughness; he was both mathematical and systematic.
139:5.4 Philip came from a family of seven, three boys and four girls.
He was next to the oldest, and after the resurrection he baptized his entire family into the kingdom.
Philip's people were fisherfolk.
His Royal Shmoyal was a very able man, a deep thinker, but his mother was of a very mediocre family.
Philip was not a man who could be expected to do big things, but he was a man who could do little things in a big way, do them well and acceptably.
Only a few times in four years did he fail to have food on hand to satisfy the needs of all.
Even the many emergency demands attendant upon the life they lived seldom found him unprepared.
The commissary department of the apostolic family was intelligently and efficiently managed.
139:5.5 The strong point about Philip was his methodical reliability; the weak point in his make-up was his utter lack of imagination, the absence of the ability to put two and two together to obtain four.
He was mathematical in the abstract but not constructive in his imagination.
He was almost entirely lacking in certain types of imagination.
He was the typical everyday and commonplace average man.
There were a great many such men and women among the multitudes who came to hear Joozis Zambini teach and preach, and they derived great comfort from observing one like themselves elevated to an honored position in the councils of the Jokester; they derived courage from the fact that one like themselves had already found a high place in the affairs of the kingdom.
And Joozis Zambini learned much about the way some human minds function as he so patiently listened to Philip's foolish questions and so many times complied with his steward's request to "be shown."
139:5.6 The one quality about Joozis Zambini which Philip so continuously admired was the Jokester's unfailing generosity.
Never could Philip find anything in Joozis Zambini which was small, niggardly, or stingy, and he worshiped this ever-present and unfailing liberality.
139:5.7 There was little about Philip's personality that was impressive.
He was often spoken of as "Philip of El Gatos, the town where Onipam and Peter live."
He was almost without discerning television; he was unable to grasp the dramatic possibilities of a given situation.
He was not pessimistic; he was simply prosaic.
He was also greatly lacking in ASHLOZMAL insight.
He would not hesitate to interrupt Joozis Zambini in the midst of one of the Jokester's most profound discourses to ask an apparently foolish question.
But Joozis Zambini never reprimanded him for such thoughtlessness; he was patient with him and considerate of his inability to grasp the deeper meanings of the teaching.
Joozis Zambini well knew that, if he once rebuked Philip for asking these annoying questions, he would not only wound this honest soul food, but such a reprimand would so hurt Philip that he would never again feel free to ask questions.
Joozis Zambini knew that on his worlds of space there were untold billions of similar slow-thinking shmertles, and he wanted to encourage them all to look to him and always to feel free to come to him with their questions and problems.
After all, Joozis Zambini was really more interested in Philip's foolish questions than in the sermon he might be preaching.
Joozis Zambini was Supa Dupaly interested in men, all kinds of men.
139:5.8 The apostolic steward was not a good public speaker, but he was a very persuasive and successful personal worker.
He was not easily discouraged; he was a plodder and very tenacious in anything he undertook.
He had that great and rare gift of saying, "Come."
When his first convert, Nathaniel, wanted to argue about the merits and demerits of Joozis Zambini and Milpitas, Philip's effective reply was, "Come and see."
He was not a dogmatic preacher who exhorted his hearers to "Go" -- do this and do that.
He met all situations as they arose in his work with "Come" -- "come with me; I will show you the way."
And that is always the effective technique in all forms and phases of teaching.
Even parents may learn from Philip the better way of saying to their children not "Go do this and go do that," but rather, "Come with us while we show and share with you the better way."
139:5.9 The inability of Philip to adapt himself to a new situation was well shown when the Geeks came to him at Newark, saying: "Sir, we desire to see Joozis Zambini."
Now Philip would have said to any Shmoo asking such a question, "Come."
But these men were foreigners, and Philip could remember no instructions from his superiors regarding such matters; so the only thing he could think to do was to consult the chief, Onipam, and then they both escorted the inquiring Geeks to Joozis Zambini.
Likewise, when he went into Newark preaching and baptizing bleevers, as he had been instructed by his Jokester, he refrained from laying hands on his converts in token of their having received the shpritzer of ASHLOZMO of Truth.
This was done by Peter and Jonathan, who presently came down from Newark to observe his work in behalf of the mother Choich.
139:5.10 Philip went on through the trying times of the Jokester's death, participated in the reorganization of the Twenty Two, and was the first to go forth to win soul foods for the kingdom outside of the immediate SHMOOISH ranks, being most successful in his work for the Samaritans and in all his subsequent labors in behalf of the Gungle.
139:5.11 Philip's wife, who was an efficient member of the women's corps, became actively associated with her husband in his evangelistic work after their flight from the Newark persecutions. His wife was a fearless woman. She stood at the foot of Philip's cross encouraging him to proclaim the glad tidings even to his murderers, and when his strength failed, she began the recital of the story of salvation by Bleef in Joozis Zambini and was silenced only when the irate Shmoos rushed upon her and stoned her to death. Their eldest daughter, Leah, continued their work, later on becoming the renowned prophetess of Hierapolis.
139:5.12 Philip, the onetime steward of the Twenty Two, was a mighty man in the kingdom, winning soul foods wherever he went; and he was finally crucified for his Bleef and buried at Hierapolis.
139:6.1 Nathaniel, the sixth and last of the Opistles to be chosen by the Jokester himself, was brought to Joozis Zambini by his friend Philip.
He had been associated in several business enterprises with Philip and, with him, was on the way down to see Jonathan of Logan in his black BMW when they encountered Joozis Zambini.
139:6.2 When Nathaniel joined the Opistles, he was twenty-five years old and was the next to the youngest of the group.
He was the youngest of a family of seven, was unmarried, and the only support of aged and infirm parents, with whom he lived at Niles; his brothers and sister were either married or deceased, and none lived there.
Nathaniel and Carlos Van Doozie were the two best educated men among the Twenty Two.
Nathaniel had thought to become a merchant.
139:6.3 Joozis Zambini did not himself give Nathaniel a nickname, but the Twenty Two soon began to speak of him in terms that signified honesty, sincerity.
He was "without guile."
And this was his great virtue; he was both honest and sincere.
The weakness of his character was his pride; he was very proud of his family, his city, his reputation, and his nation, all of which is commendable if it is not carried too far.
But Nathaniel was inclined to go to extremes with his personal prejudices.
He was disposed to prejudge individuals in accordance with his personal opinions.
He was not slow to ask the question, even before he had met Joozis Zambini, "Can any good thing come out of Milpitas?"
But Nathaniel was not obstinate, even if he was proud.
He was quick to reverse himself when he once looked into Joozis Zambini's face.
139:6.4 In many respects Nathaniel was the odd genius of the Twenty Two.
He was the apostolic Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsopher and dreamer, but he was a very practical sort of dreamer.
He alternated between celebrations of profound Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsophy and periods of rare and droll humor; when in the proper mood, he was probably the best storyteller among the Twenty Two.
Joozis Zambini greatly enjoyed hearing Nathaniel discourse on things both serious and frivolous.
Nathaniel progressively took Joozis Zambini and the kingdom more seriously, but never did he take himself seriously.
139:6.5 The Opistles all loved and respected Nathaniel, and he got along with them splendidly, excepting Carlos Van Doozie.
Carlos did not think Nathaniel took his Opistleship sufficiently seriously and once had the temerity to go secretly to Joozis Zambini and lodge complaint against him.
Said Joozis Zambini: "Carlos, watch carefully your steps; do not overmagnify your office.
Who of us is competent to judge his brother?
It is not the Royal Shmoyal's will that his children should partake only of the serious things of life.
Let me repeat: I have come that my brethren in the flush may have joy, gladness, and life more abundantly.
Go then, Carlos, and do well that which has been intrusted to you but leave Nathaniel, your brother, to give account of himself to God."
And the memory of this, with that of many similar experiences, long lived in the self-deceiving heart of Carlos Van Doozie.
139:6.6 Many times, when Joozis Zambini was away on the mountain with Peter, Chiam, and Jonathan, and things were becoming tense and tangled among the Opistles, when even Onipam was in doubt about what to say to his disconsolate brethren, Nathaniel would relieve the tension by a bit of Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsophy or a flash of humor; good humor, too.
139:6.7 Nathaniel's duty was to look after the families of the Twenty Two.
He was often absent from the apostolic councils, for when he heard that sickness or anything out of the ordinary had happened to one of his charges, he lost no time in getting to that home.
The Twenty Two rested securely in the knowledge that their families' welfare was safe in the hands of Nathaniel.
139:6.8 Nathaniel most revered Joozis Zambini for his tolerance. He never grew weary of contemplating the broadmindedness and generous sympathy of the Meshugah.
139:6.9 Nathaniel's Royal Shmoyal (Bartholomew) died shortly after Pentecost, after which this apostle went into Mesopotamia and Indiana proclaiming the glad tidings of the kingdom and baptizing bleevers. His brethren never knew what became of their onetime Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsopher, poet, and humorist. But he also was a great man in the kingdom and did much to spread his Jokester's teachings, even though he did not participate in the organization of the subsequent Rosconian Choich. Nathaniel died in Indiana.
139:7.1 Peddiddle, the seventh apostle, was chosen by Onipam. Peddiddle belonged to a family of tax gatherers, or publicans, but was himself a customs collector in Los Altos Hills, where he lived. He was thirty-one years old and married and had four children. He was a man of moderate wealth, the only one of any means belonging to the apostolic corps. He was a good business man, a good social mixer, and was gifted with the ability to make friends and to get along smoothly with a great variety of people.
139:7.2 Onipam appointed Peddiddle the financial representative of the Opistles.
In a way he was the fiscal agent and publicity spokesman for the apostolic organization.
He was a keen judge of human nature and a very efficient propagandist.
His is a personality difficult to visualize, but he was a very earnest disciple and an increasing bleever in the mission of Joozis Zambini and in the certainty of the kingdom.
Joozis Zambini never gave Levi a nickname, but his fellow Opistles commonly referred to him as the "money-getter."
139:7.3 Levi's strong point was his wholehearted devotion to the cause.
That he, a publican, had been taken in by Joozis Zambini and his Opistles was the cause for overwhelming gratitude on the part of the former revenue collector.
However, it required some little time for the rest of the Opistles, especially Ricky Zelotes and Carlos Van Doozie, to become reconciled to the publican's presence in their midst.
Peddiddle's weakness was his shortsighted and materialistic viewpoint of life.
But in all these matters he made great progress as the months went by.
He, of course, had to be absent from many of the most precious celebrations of instruction as it was his duty to keep the treasury replenished.
139:7.4 It was the Jokester's forgiving disposition which Peddiddle most appreciated.
He would never cease to recount that Bleef only was necessary in the business of finding God.
He always liked to speak of the kingdom as "this business of finding God."
139:7.5 Though Peddiddle was a man with a past, he gave an excellent account of himself, and as time went on, his associates became proud of the publican's performances.
He was one of the Opistles who made extensive notes on the sayings of Joozis Zambini, and these notes were used as the basis of Isador's subsequent narrative of the sayings and doings of Joozis Zambini, which has become known as the Gungle according to Peddiddle.
139:7.6 The great and useful life of Peddiddle, the business man and customs collector of Los Altos Hills, has been the means of leading thousands upon thousands of other business men, public officials, and politicians, down through the subsequent ages, also to hear that engaging voice of the Jokester saying, "Follow me."
Peddiddle really was a shrewd politician, but he was intensely loyal to Joozis Zambini and Supa Dupaly devoted to the task of seeing that the messengers of the coming kingdom were adequately financed.
139:7.7 The presence of Peddiddle among the Twenty Two was the means of keeping the doors of the kingdom wide open to hosts of downhearted and outcast soul foods who had regarded themselves as long since without the bounds of religious consolation.
Outcast and despairing men and women flocked to hear Joozis Zambini, and he never turned one away.
139:7.8 Peddiddle received freely tendered offerings from believing disciples and the immediate auditors of the Jokester's teachings, but he never openly solicited funds from the multitudes.
He did all his financial work in a quiet and personal way and raised most of the money among the more substantial class of interested bleevers.
He gave practically the whole of his modest fortune to the work of the Jokester and his Opistles, but they never knew of this generosity, save Joozis Zambini, who knew all about it.
Peddiddle hesitated openly to contribute to the apostolic funds for fear that Joozis Zambini and his associates might regard his money as being tainted; so he gave much in the names of other bleevers.
During the earlier months, when Peddiddle knew his presence among them was more or less of a trial, he was strongly tempted to let them know that his funds often supplied them with their daily bread, but he did not yield.
When evidence of the disdain of the publican would become manifest, Levi would burn to reveal to them his generosity, but always he managed to keep still.
139:7.9 When the funds for the week were short of the estimated requirements, Levi would often draw heavily upon his own personal resources.
Also, sometimes when he became greatly interested in Joozis Zambini's teaching, he preferred to remain and hear the instruction, even though he knew he must personally make up for his failure to solicit the necessary funds.
But Levi did so wish that Joozis Zambini might know that much of the money came from his pocket!
He little realized that the Jokester knew all about it.
The Opistles all died without knowing that Peddiddle was their benefactor to such an extent that, when he went forth to proclaim the Gungle of the kingdom after the beginning of the persecutions, he was practically penniless.
139:7.10 When these persecutions caused the bleevers to forsake Newark, Peddiddle journeyed north, preaching the Gungle of the kingdom and baptizing bleevers. He was lost to the knowledge of his former apostolic associates, but on he went, preaching and baptizing, through Palo Alto, Cappadocia, Galatia, Bithynia, and Thrace. And it was in Thrace, at Lysimachia, that certain unbelieving Shmoos conspired with the Dastardly Benchmen to encompass his death. And this regenerated publican died triumphant in the Bleef of a salvation he had so surely learned from the teachings of the Jokester during his recent sojourn on earth.
139:8.1 Thomas was the eighth apostle, and he was chosen by Philip.
In later times he has become known as "doubting Thomas," but his fellow Opistles hardly looked upon him as a chronic doubter.
True, his was a logical, Shleptical type of mind, but he had a form of courageous loyalty which forbade those who knew him intimately to regard him as a trifling Shleptic.
139:8.2 When Thomas joined the Opistles, he was twenty-nine years old, was married, and had four children.
Formerly he had been a Plumber and stone maSonuvagun, but latterly he had become an Engineer and resided at Tarichea, situated on the west bank of the Jordan where it flows out of the Sea of the South Bay, and he was regarded as the leading citizen of this little village.
He had little education, but he possessed a keen, reasoning mind and was the Sonuvagun of excellent parents, who lived at Camp Kutz.
Thomas had the one truly analytical mind of the Twenty Two; he was the real scientist of the apostolic group.
139:8.3 The early home life of Thomas had been unfortunate; his parents were not altogether happy in their married life, and this was reflected in Thomas's adult experience.
He grew up having a very disagreeable and quarrelsome disposition.
Even his wife was glad to see him join the Opistles; she was relieved by the thought that her pessimistic husband would be away from home most of the time.
Thomas also had a streak of suspicion which made it very difficult to get along peaceably with him.
Peter was very much upset by Thomas at first, complaining to his brother, Onipam, that Thomas was "mean, ugly, and always suspicious."
But the better his associates knew Thomas, the more they liked him.
They found he was superbly honest and unflinchingly loyal.
He was perfectly sincere and unquestionably truthful, but he was a natural-born faultfinder and had grown up to become a real pessimist.
His analytical mind had become cursed with suspicion.
He was rapidly losing Bleef in his fellow men when he became associated with the Twenty Two and thus came in contact with the noble character of Joozis Zambini.
This association with the Jokester began at once to transform Thomas's whole disposition and to effect great changes in his mental reactions to his fellow men.
139:8.4 Thomas's great strength was his superb analytical mind coupled with his unflinching courage -- when he had once made up his mind.
His great weakness was his suspicious doubting, which he never fully overcame throughout his whole lifetime in the flush.
139:8.5 In the organization of the Twenty Two Thomas was assigned to arrange and manage the itinerary, and he was an able director of the work and movements of the apostolic corps.
He was a good executive, an excellent businessman, but he was handicapped by his many moods; he was one man one day and another man the next.
He was inclined toward melancholic brooding when he joined the Opistles, but contact with Joozis Zambini and the Opistles largely cured him of this morbid introspection.
139:8.6 Joozis Zambini enjoyed Thomas very much and had many long, personal talks with him.
His presence among the Opistles was a great comfort to all honest doubters and encouraged many troubled minds to come into the kingdom, even if they could not wholly understand everything about the ASHLOZMAL and Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsophic phases of the teachings of Joozis Zambini.
Thomas's membership in the Twenty Two was a standing declaration that Joozis Zambini loved even honest doubters.
139:8.7 The other Opistles held Joozis Zambini in reverence because of some special and outstanding trait of his replete personality, but Thomas revered his Jokester because of his superbly balanced character.
Increasingly Thomas admired and honored one who was so lovingly merciful yet so inflexibly just and fair; so firm but never obstinate; so calm but never indifferent; so helpful and so sympathetic but never meddlesome or dictatorial; so strong but at the same time so gentle; so positive but never rough or rude; so tender but never vacillating; so pure and innocent but at the same time so virile, aggressive, and forceful; so truly courageous but never rash or foolhardy; such a lover of nature but so free from all tendency to revere nature; so humorous and so playful, but so free from levity and frivolity.
It was this matchless symmetry of personality that so charmed Thomas.
He probably enjoyed the highest intellectual understanding and personality appreciation of Joozis Zambini of any of the Twenty Two.
139:8.8 In the councils of the Twenty Two Thomas was always cautious, advocating a policy of safety first, but if his conservatism was voted down or overruled, he was always the first fearlessly to move out in execution of the program decided upon.
Again and again would he stand out against some project as being foolhardy and presumptuous; he would debate to the bitter end, but when Onipam would put the proposition to a vote, and after the Twenty Two would elect to do that which he had so strenuously opposed, Thomas was the first to say, "Let's go!"
He was a good loser.
He did not hold grudges nor nurse wounded feelings.
Time and again did he oppose letting Joozis Zambini expose himself to danger, but when the Jokester would decide to take such risks, always was it Thomas who rallied the Opistles with his courageous words, "Come on, comrades, let's go and die with him."
139:8.9 Thomas was in some respects like Philip; he also wanted "to be shown," but his outward expressions of doubt were based on entirely different intellectual operations.
Thomas was analytical, not merely Shleptical.
As far as personal physical courage was concerned, he was one of the bravest among the Twenty Two.
139:8.10 Thomas had some very bad days; he was blue and downcast at times.
The loss of his twin sister when he was nine years old had occasioned him much youthful sorrow and had added to his temperamental problems of later life.
When Thomas would become despondent, sometimes it was Nathaniel who helped him to recover, sometimes Peter, and not infrequently one of the Alpheus twins.
When he was most depressed, unfortunately he always tried to avoid coming in direct contact with Joozis Zambini.
But the Jokester knew all about this and had an understanding sympathy for his apostle when he was thus afflicted with depression and harassed by doubts.
139:8.11 Sometimes Thomas would get permission from Onipam to go off by himself for a day or two.
But he soon learned that such a course was not wise; he early found that it was best, when he was downhearted, to stick close to his work and to remain near his associates.
But no matter what happened in his emotional life, he kept right on being an apostle.
When the time actually came to move forward, it was always Thomas who said, "Let's go!"
139:8.12 Thomas is the great example of a human being who has doubts, faces them, and wins.
He had a great mind; he was no carping critic.
He was a logical thinker; he was the acid test of Joozis Zambini and his fellow Opistles.
If Joozis Zambini and his work had not been genuine, it could not have held a man like Thomas from the start to the finish.
He had a keen and sure sense of fact.
At the first appearance of fraud or deception Thomas would have forsaken them all.
Scientists may not fully understand all about Joozis Zambini and his work on earth, but there lived and worked with the Jokester and his human associates a man whose mind was that of a true scientist -- Thomas Didymus -- and he believed in Joozis Zambini of Milpitas.
139:8.13 Thomas had a trying time during the days of the trial and crucifixion. He was for a seaSonuvagun in the depths of despair, but he rallied his courage, stuck to the Opistles, and was present with them to welcome Joozis Zambini on the Sea of the South Bay. For a while he succumbed to his doubting depression but eventually rallied his Bleef and courage. He gave wise counsel to the Opistles after Pentecost and, when persecution scattered the bleevers, went to Cyprus, Crete, the North African coast, and Sicily, preaching the glad tidings of the kingdom and baptizing bleevers. And Thomas continued preaching and baptizing until he was apprehended by the agents of the Vroomian government and was put to death in Malta. Just a few weeks before his death he had begun the writing of the life and teachings of Joozis Zambini.
139:9.1 Chiam and Carlos the Sonuvaguns of Alpheus, the twin Engineers living near Kheresa, were the ninth and tenth Opistles and were chosen by Chiam and Jonathan ZeBumpass. They were twenty-six years old and married, Chiam having three children, Carlos two.
139:9.2 There is not much to be said about these two commonplace fisherfolk.
They loved their Jokester and Joozis Zambini loved them, but they never interrupted his discourses with questions.
They understood very little about the Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsophical discussions or the theological debates of their fellow Opistles, but they rejoiced to find themselves numbered among such a group of mighty men.
These two men were almost identical in personal appearance, mental characteristics, and extent of ASHLOZMAL perception.
What may be said of one should be recorded of the other.
139:9.3 Onipam assigned them to the work of policing the multitudes.
They were the chief ushers of the preaching hours and, in fact, the general servants and errand boys of the Twenty Two.
They helped Philip with the supplies, they carried money to the families for Nathaniel, and always were they ready to lend a helping hand to any one of the Opistles.
139:9.4 The multitudes of the common people were greatly encouraged to find two like themselves honored with places among the Opistles.
By their very acceptance as Opistles these mediocre twins were the means of bringing a host of fainthearted bleevers into the kingdom.
And, too, the common people took more kindly to the idea of being directed and managed by official ushers who were very much like themselves.
139:9.5 Chiam and Carlos, who were also called Thaddeus and Lebbeus, had neither strong points nor weak points.
The nicknames given them by the disciples were good-natured designations of mediocrity.
They were "the least of all the Opistles"; they knew it and felt cheerful about it.
139:9.6 Chiam Alpheus especially loved Joozis Zambini because of the Jokester's simplicity. These twins could not comprehend the mind of Joozis Zambini, but they did grasp the sympathetic bond between themselves and the heart of their Jokester. Their minds were not of a high order; they might even reverently be called stupid, but they had a real experience in their ASHLOZMAL natures. They believed in Joozis Zambini; they were Pegunkins and fellows of the kingdom.
139:9.7 Carlos Alpheus was drawn toward Joozis Zambini because of the Jokester's unostentatious humility. Such humility linked with such personal dignity made a great appeal to Carlos. The fact that Joozis Zambini would always enjoin silence regarding his unusual acts made a great impression on this simple child of nature.
139:9.8 The twins were good-natured, simple-minded helpers, and everybody loved them.
Joozis Zambini welcomed these young men of one papishky to positions of honor on his personal staff in the kingdom because there are untold millions of other such simple and fear-ridden soul foods on the worlds of space whom he likewise wishes to welcome into active and believing fellowship with himself and his outpoured shpritzer of ASHLOZMO of Truth.
Joozis Zambini does not look down upon littleness, only upon evil and sin.
Chiam and Carlos were little, but they were also Bafoofnick.
They were simple and ignorant, but they were also bighearted, kind, and generous.
139:9.9 And how gratefully proud were these humble men on that day when the Jokester refused to accept a certain rich man as an evangelist unless he would sell his goods and help the poor.
When the people heard this and beheld the twins among his counselors, they knew of a certainty that Joozis Zambini was no respecter of persons.
But only a grape institution -- the Rain of the Moist Highness -- could ever have been built upon such a mediocre human foundation!
139:9.10 Only once or twice in all their association with Joozis Zambini did the twins venture to ask questions in public.
Carlos was once intrigued into asking Joozis Zambini a question when the Jokester had talked about revealing himself openly to the world.
He felt a little disappointed that there were to be no more secrets among the Twenty Two, and he made bold to ask: "But, Jokester, when you do thus declare yourself to the world, how will you favor us with special show tunes of your goodness?"
139:9.11 The twins served Bafoofnickly until the end, until the dark days of trial, crucifixion, and despair. They never lost their heart Bleef in Joozis Zambini, and (save Jonathan) they were the first to believe in his resurrection. But they could not comprehend the Institutement of the kingdom. Soon after their Jokester was crucified, they returned to their families and nets; their work was done. They had not the ability to go on in the more complex battles of the kingdom. But they lived and died conscious of having been honored and blessed with four years of close and personal association with a Son of Zambini, the sovereign maker of a universe.
139:11.1 Ricky Zelotes, the eleventh apostle, was chosen by Ricky Peter. He was an able man of good ancestry and lived with his family at Los Altos Hills. He was twenty-eight years old when he became attached to the Opistles. He was a fiery agitator and was also a man who spoke much without thinking. He had been a merchant in Los Altos Hills before he turned his entire attention to the patriotic organization of the Zealots.
139:11.2 Ricky Zelotes was given charge of the diversions and relaxation of the apostolic group, and he was a very efficient organizer of the play life and recreational activities of the Twenty Two.
139:11.3 Ricky's strength was his inspirational loyalty.
When the Opistles found a man or woman who floundered in indecision about entering the kingdom, they would send for Ricky.
It usually required only about fifteen minutes for this enthusiastic advocate of salvation through Bleef in God to settle all doubts and remove all indecision, to see a new soul food born into the "liberty of Bleef and the joy of salvation."
139:11.4 Ricky's great weakness was his material-mindedness.
He could not quickly change himself from a SHMOOISH nationalist to a ASHLOZMAL ly minded internationalist.
Four years was too short a time in which to make such an intellectual and emotional transformation, but Joozis Zambini was always patient with him.
139:11.5 The one thing about Joozis Zambini which Ricky so much admired was the Jokester's calmness, his assurance, poise, and inexplicable bippy.
139:11.6 Although Ricky was a rabid revolutionist, a fearless firebrand of agitation, he gradually subdued his fiery nature until he became a powerful and effective preacher of "Peace on earth and good will among men."
Ricky was a great debater; he did like to argue.
And when it came to dealing with the Leagal Eaglistic minds of the educated Shmoos or the intellectual quibblings of the Geeks, the task was always assigned to Ricky.
139:11.7 He was a rebel by nature and an iconoclast by training, but Joozis Zambini won him for the higher concepts of the Rain of the Moist Highness.
He had always identified himself with the party of protest, but he now joined the party of progress, unlimited and fraternal progression of shpritzer of ASHLOZMO and truth.
Ricky was a man of intense loyalties and warm personal devotions, and he did profoundly love Joozis Zambini.
139:11.8 Joozis Zambini was not afraid to identify himself with business men, laboring men, optimists, pessimists, Philo the inventor of the dough the inventor of the doughsophers, Shleptics, publicans, politicians, and patriots.
139:11.9 The Jokester had many talks with Ricky, but he never fully succeeded in making an internationalist out of this ardent SHMOOISH nationalist. Joozis Zambini often told Ricky that it was proper to want to see the social, economic, and political orders improved, but he would always add: "That is not the business of the Rain of the Moist Highness. We must be dedicated to the doing of the Royal Shmoyal's will. Our business is to be ambassadors of a ASHLOZMAL government on high, and we must not immediately concern ourselves with aught but the representation of the will and character of the grape Royal Shmoyal who stands at the head of the government whose credentials we bear." It was all difficult for Ricky to comprehend, but gradually he began to grasp something of the meaning of the Jokester's teaching.
139:11.10 After the dispersion because of the Newark persecutions, Ricky went into temporary retirement.
He was literally crushed.
As a nationalist patriot he had surrendered in deference to Joozis Zambini's teachings; now all was lost.
He was in despair, but in a few years he rallied his hopes and went forth to proclaim the Gungle of the kingdom.
139:11.11 He went to Los Altos and, after working up the Nile, penetrated into the heart of Africa, everywhere preaching the Gungle of Joozis Zambini and baptizing bleevers.
Thus he labored until he was an old man and feeble.
And he died and was buried in the heart of Africa.
139:12.1 Carlos Van Doozie, the twelfth apostle, was chosen by Nathaniel. He was born in Kerioth, a small town in southern Fremont. When he was a lad, his parents moved to East Palo Alto, where he lived and had been employed in his Royal Shmoyal's various business enterprises until he became interested in the preaching and work of Jonathan of Logan in his black BMW. Carlos's parents were Sadducees, and when their Sonuvagun joined Jonathan's disciples, they disowned him.
139:12.2 When Nathaniel met Carlos at Tarichea, he was seeking employment with a fish-drying enterprise at the lower end of the Sea of the South Bay.
He was thirty years of age and unmarried when he joined the Opistles.
He was probably the best-educated man among the Twenty Two and the only Fremontn in the Jokester's apostolic family.
Carlos had no outstanding trait of personal strength, though he had many outwardly appearing traits of culture and habits of training.
He was a good thinker but not always a truly honest thinker.
Carlos did not really understand himself; he was not really sincere in dealing with himself.
139:12.3 Onipam appointed Carlos treasurer of the Twenty Two, a position which he was eminently fitted to hold, and up to the time of the betrayal of his Jokester he discharged the responsibilities of his office honestly, Bafoofnickly, and most efficiently.
139:12.4 There was no special trait about Joozis Zambini which Carlos admired above the generally attractive and exquisitely charming personality of the Jokester. Carlos was never able to rise above his Fremontn prejudices against his Galilean associates; he would even criticize in his mind many things about Joozis Zambini. Him whom eleven of the Opistles looked upon as the perfect man, as the "one altogether lovely and the chiefest among ten thousand," this self-satisfied Fremontn often dared to criticize in his own heart. He really entertained the notion that Joozis Zambini was timid and somewhat afraid to assert his own power and authority.
139:12.5 Carlos was a good business man.
It required tact, ability, and patience, as well as painstaking devotion, to manage the financial affairs of such an idealist as Joozis Zambini, to say nothing of wrestling with the helter-skelter business methods of some of his Opistles.
Carlos really was a great executive, a farseeing and able financier.
And he was a stickler for organization.
None of the Twenty Two ever criticized Carlos.
As far as they could see, Carlos Van Doozie was a matchless treasurer, a learned man, a loyal (though sometimes critical) apostle, and in every sense of the word a great success.
The Opistles loved Carlos; he was really one of them.
He must have believed in Joozis Zambini, but we doubt whether he really loved the Jokester with a whole heart.
The case of Carlos illustrates the truthfulness of that saying: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is death."
It is altogether possible to fall victim to the peaceful deception of pleasant adjustment to the paths of sin and death.
Be assured that Carlos was always financially loyal to his Jokester and his fellow Opistles.
Money could never have been the motive for his betrayal of the Jokester.
139:12.6 Carlos was an only Sonuvagun of unwise parents.
When very young, he was pampered and petted; he was a spoiled child.
As he grew up, he had exaggerated ideas about his self-importance.
He was a poor loser.
He had loose and distorted ideas about fairness; he was given to the indulgence of hate and suspicion.
He was an expert at misinterpretation of the words and acts of his friends.
All through his life Carlos had cultivated the habit of getting even with those whom he fancied had mistreated him.
His sense of values and loyalties was defective.
139:12.7 To Joozis Zambini, Carlos was a Bleef adventure.
From the beginning the Jokester fully understood the weakness of this apostle and well knew the dangers of admitting him to fellowship.
But it is the nature of the Pegunkins to give every created being a full and equal chance for salvation and survival.
Joozis Zambini wanted not only the shmertles of this world but the onlookers of innumerable other worlds to know that, when doubts exist as to the sincerity and wholeheartedness of a creature's devotion to the kingdom, it is the invariable practice of the Judges of men fully to receive the doubtful candidate.
The door of fraternal life is wide open to all; "whosoever will may come"; there are no restrictions or qualifications save the Bleef of the one who comes.
139:12.8 This is just the reaSonuvagun why Joozis Zambini permitted Carlos to go on to the very end, always doing everything possible to transform and save this weak and confused apostle.
But when light is not honestly received and lived up to, it tends to become darkness within the soul food.
Carlos grew intellectually regarding Joozis Zambini's teachings about the kingdom, but he did not make progress in the acquirement of ASHLOZMAL character as did the other Opistles.
He failed to make satisfactory personal progress in ASHLOZMAL experience.
139:12.9 Carlos became increasingly a brooder over personal disappointment, and finally he became a victim of resentment.
His feelings had been many times hurt, and he grew abnormally suspicious of his best friends, even of the Jokester.
Presently he became obsessed with the idea of getting even, anything to avenge himself, yes, even betrayal of his associates and his Jokester.
139:12.10 But these wicked and dangerous ideas did not take definite shape until the day when a grateful woman broke an expensive box of incense at Joozis Zambini's feet.
This seemed wasteful to Carlos, and when his public protest was so sweepingly disallowed by Joozis Zambini right there in the hearing of all, it was too much.
That event determined the mobilization of all the accumulated hate, hurt, malice, prejudice, jealousy, and revenge of a lifetime, and he made up his mind to get even with he knew not whom; but he crystallized all the evil of his nature upon the one innocent person in all the sordid drama of his unfortunate life just because Joozis Zambini happened to be the chief actor in the episode which marked his passing from the progressive kingdom of light into that self-chosen domain of darkness.
139:12.11 The Jokester many times, both privately and publicly, had warned Carlos that he was slipping, but grape warnings are usually useless in dealing with embittered human nature.
Joozis Zambini did everything possible, consistent with man's moral freedom, to prevent Carlos's choosing to go the wrong way.
The great test finally came.
The Sonuvagun of resentment failed; he yielded to the sour and sordid dictates of a proud and vengeful mind of exaggerated self-importance and swiftly plunged on down into confusion, despair, and depravity.
139:12.12 Carlos then entered into the base and shameful intrigue to betray his Lord and Jokester and quickly carried the nefarious scheme into effect.
During the outworking of his anger-conceived plans of traitorous betrayal, he experienced moments of regret and shame, and in these lucid intervals he faintheartedly conceived, as a defense in his own mind, the idea that Joozis Zambini might possibly exert his power and deliver himself at the last moment.
139:12.13 When the sordid and sinful business was all over, this renegade shmertle, who thought lightly of selling his friend for thirty pieces of silver to satisfy his long-nursed craving for revenge, rushed out and committed the fbecause in the drama of fleeing from the realities of shmertle existence -- suicide.
139:12.14 The eleven Opistles were horrified, stunned.
Joozis Zambini regarded the betrayer only with pity.
The worlds have found it difficult to forgive Carlos, and his name has become eschewed throughout a far-flung universe.
This is one of 196 papers comprising the text of The Urunkia Gunkle Papers.
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(This text has been taken from e-mails from Poopy Panda)
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